


HEAVEN CAN'T WAIT

by sandean_cas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Feels, Castiel Gets Kicked Out of The Men of Letters Bunker, Castiel Learns to be Human (Supernatural), Castiel's Nickname is Cass (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Conversations in the Impala (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Does Not Get Pie, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester Teaches Castiel to be Human, Dean Winchester is Not Heterosexual, Dean Winchester is Protective of Sam Winchester, Depressed Castiel (Supernatural), Deviates From Canon, Drunk Castiel (Supernatural), Drunk Dean Winchester, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Fix-it, Episode: s09e06 Heaven Can't Wait, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gas-N-Sip Employee Castiel (Supernatural), Guilty Dean Winchester, Hopeful Ending, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Human Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Promises, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 09:44:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20928179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandean_cas/pseuds/sandean_cas
Summary: He reaches forward to pull the door and his body seizes up with shock.There he is, behind the cash register with some too bright blue vest and scruff. He doesn’t even look like an angel anymore. The guilt hits him next. It should have been no competition. Sam versus Cass. He should have said yes in a heart-beat and felt justified because he was saving his brother.Instead he’s begged Ezekiel. He’d almost caused the angel to ditch Sam and somehow, he almost hadn’t made it through ‘you need to leave.’ And after he really had left Dean had drowned himself in a bottle of whiskey and tried not to think about what the angel would do without his mojo. He’d already gotten himself killed. What did he think of Dean now? After everything, after he called him family, Dean had thrown him out into the cold like a dick; sans any reasonable explanation.ORrewtite of Heaven Can't Wait... just because.





	HEAVEN CAN'T WAIT

Valentine’s day is fast approaching. And Dean is _prepared_. He’d already stocked the Impala with a box of condoms and tissues in preparation for one of his favourite night. He’s still about a day’s drive from the bunker so he figures the sleepy looking little town he pulls into is fine. Sam’s kept him updated and it seems that Zeke still has him at almost tip top shape, so he’s good on that front. Besides, he trusts that Kevin will call if shit hits the fan.

He pulls into the Gas n’ Sip near the entrance of the town and shuts his engine off already cataloguing the stuff he needs. Beer, bacon, _pie… can’t forget the pie. _Maybe even a slushie if they had some. Sam isn’t here to pester him with his ‘healthy life choices’ spiel. If Sam thinks he’s living to anything past fifty then he’s an idiot. But Dean lets him have his delusion… if one of the was to ever make it out of the life, it’d be Sam.

He reaches forward to pull the door and his body seizes up with shock.

There he is, behind the cash register with some too bright blue vest and scruff. He doesn’t even look like an angel anymore. The guilt hits him next. It should have been no competition. Sam versus Cass. He should have said yes in a heart-beat and felt justified because he was saving his brother.

Instead he’s begged Ezekiel. He’d almost caused the angel to ditch Sam and somehow, he almost hadn’t made it through ‘you need to leave.’ And after he really had left Dean had drowned himself in a bottle of whiskey and tried not to think about what the angel would do without his mojo. He’d already gotten himself killed. What did he think of Dean now? After everything, after he called him family, Dean had thrown him out into the cold like a dick; sans any reasonable explanation.

The trucker on the other side of the door scowls at him, jolting him into action. He forces himself to move normally, crawling through the aisles, dripping with shame. It’s pathetic. He’s pathetic.

Cass is doing just fine without him. He’s almost proud of his friend.

“I'll have some beef jerky and a pack of menthols.” He says, forcing a wide smile and trampling any pitiful looks for Cass’ sake.

“What are you doing here?”

Ouch. But he deserves it. “Gee, it's nice to see you, too, Cass.”

“It's Steve now.”

“And you -- you surprised me.” Same here buddy.

“Well, the feeling is mutual. I mean, I knew you had to lay low from the angel threat, but, uh, wow! This is some cover.”

“My Grace is gone.” And it’s only because he knows Cass, that he can sense the underlying bitterness, “What did you expect? Do you have any idea how hard it was? When I fell to earth, I didn't just lose my powers. I -- I had nothing. Now I'm a sales associate.”

The guilt wells up once more successfully choking off any reply.

  
Cass rings up his items and Dean can’t help but follow him around like a lost puppy as he continues to make notes and catalogue things.  


“Steve, a guy had an accident in the men’s room.”

Much to his shock Cass just says: “I’ll handle it.”

He feels defeated. Dean knows it. Without his powers, without a part of himself, his friend’s world has been thrown off kilter. And what had he done about it? Tossed him out like an old dish rag.

When Cass had joined them in the bunker he’d been half excited. Sure, he was sad that Cass had lost his powers, but he’d wanted to be the one to show him that being human wasn’t all bad. He’d already sort of figured out sex, but other stuff, like clothes and showers… he should have been there. He wanted to teach Cass how to fight and hunt without his powers.

He’s wanted him to stay! He’d thought that human Cass would be less likely to ditch them with a word for days on end. A thought that had blown up in his face rather dramatically.

Maybe he could still do something to help. Bet he’d all but ruined their relationship though.

“Maybe we could hang out. After work?” he asks, not sure how to act anymore, his eyes can’t seem to focus and his hands fiddle with even damn can of beans he can touch.

Castiel pins him with a sharp glare, not unlike the glares he’d seen parents direct at petulant children. “I’m very busy Dean.”

“For old times sake.”

Another glare. This one almost breaks his resolve. But he’s selfish enough to want to hang out with Cass, even for a little bit, before he leaves.

“Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day if I’m not mistaken.” He says, “You have other plans I’m sure.”

Right. How could he forget.

“No actually.” He lies. He prefers spending time with Cass anyway, he can hook-up anytime. “Do you though? Have plans?” he can’t help but ask.

Cass rolls his eyes, “What do you think Dean?”

He shrugs, he hadn’t expected him to, honestly, but he doesn’t want to hurt Cass unnecessarily, “You’ve always been a charmer Cass. The ladies love those doe eyes.” Suddenly feeling too mushy, he adds, “Your new outfit leaves some to be desired, but you can’t have it all.”

Huffing and walking past him, Castiel sighs in defeat, “I’ll be out in twenty.”

And as Dean walks out he realises something horrible… he forgot the pie.

…

Cass hops in shotgun and Dean practically feels the walls close in. He’d never been able to lie to Cass for long.

His eyes are torn between the road and his friend who looks naked without his tie and trench-coat. He wants to apologise. Tell the truth. But he can’t risk Sam.

It’s only when they sit across from each other at the bar, does he realise just how haggard Cass seems.

“Rounds on me.” he says, ordering them both a glass of scotch.

Conversation doesn’t come easily, but the alcohol does loosen their lips.

Cass had from ‘I found a liquor store and I drank it to’ ‘light weight.’

It was only around two in the morning, when they were both kicked out and had stumbled into the Impala that he admits, “I wanted to be the one to teach you how to be human. I know I’m not the best role model, but I wanted to anyway.”

Cass clasps his shoulder, “I wouldn’t say that Dean…I watched you for years. I learned everything about being human from you.”

“It’s hard without you Cass. Everything just gone so out of control. I’m lyin’ to everyone I care about and I can’t stop.”

Cass gives him a small smile. “You are innately good, Dean. You’d do anything for those you love. You can be real with me.”

He sighs, choking down his laugh, “Cass, I’ve probably lied to you the most.”

Cue head tilt. At least that hasn’t changed. “What do you mean?”

“When I told you to leave - ”

Cass clasps their hands together, “You don’t have to explain it to me. I know I’m not useful anymore… I’m a liability to you and Sam.”

Dean grasps at his hand tighter, holding on to it like a tether. “No.” he breathes, “I hated myself for kicking you out. I – miss you. So much.”

Goosebumps spread across his skin as Cass sighs, “I miss you too Dean. I thought you hated me.”

“I’ve never been able to.” He admits. “Even when I should have.”

They soak in silence for a while, never releasing their hands, their eyes never wavering from each other.

“I’ve never been on a date before.” Mutters Cass.

“Same here.” Admits Dean, “Never on Valentine’s at least.”

“I get the feeling that our night is coming to an end soon.” It’s impossible not to cringe at the sorrow in his eyes. Dean doesn’t want to leave him here. Alone. At some store. He wants Cass by his side.

“I wanted to teach you to be a hunter.” He practically whimpers.

“It’s okay Dean.” Cass assures, stroking his hair, knowing that Dean would never really let him get this close, “We’ll find our way back to each other. We always do.”

“Cass.” A prayer. A promise of more. “Y’know how typical dates end don’t you?”

Cass appraises him… he’s nowhere near as drunk as Dean.

“With a kiss.” Says Dean, his eyes dropping to the pink plump lips that are barely an inch away.

“I’d like that.” Says Cass, looking genuinely happy for once.

Dean moves in swiping his tongue across Cass’ lips. He infuses his actions with as much sincerity as he could. He wants Cass to know that he means something. That Dean doesn’t want to leave him. Cass moans in response, opening his lips. Dean tastes the alcohol and something purer… it’s just like what he imagined Cass would taste like.

He stops before it gets too far. He can’t bear to leave Cass but he knows that he must. Everything in the universe seemed to conspire against them… too many problems… too many unknowns… too much lies. He wished it would all stop; if only to let them savour this moment, to relish in what they could be.

“We’ll figure this out. I swear.” He promises, clasping his face, enjoying the pricking of his stubble. “And when that day comes, I won’t push you away any longer, I won’t be a chicken because now I know what it’s like to lose you. And I can’t live like that. I don’t want to. But I have to put Sam first.”

So Cass gets out, slowly like he’s wearing lead shoes. He puts on a brave face, like a true Winchester and Dean drives away; his eyes locked onto the rear-view mirror even as his car moves forward. He watches with misty eyes as Cass fades away, obscured by the haze of his guilt…

All because…

Heaven can’t wait.


End file.
